I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
tell your sister to shave her snatch
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
