It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
