I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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