ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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