I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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