and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
