i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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