its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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