VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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