apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
