I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
