im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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