Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We are two peas in an std pod
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
