i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She's the barista slut.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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