yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Your penis caused this!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
