Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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