I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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