its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
