I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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