wanna go halves on a baby?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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