How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
