I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
