out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize