I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
