Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
