how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
