which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
