Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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