I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
