He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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