so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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