remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
