So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Randomize
