At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
