Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
