i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
