so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
