Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
