sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
