As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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