I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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