I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
