New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
