its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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