Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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