This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
