Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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