You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
