Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
