My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
