omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
