Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
