Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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