Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
