Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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