Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
