Pants 0. Shit 1.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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