i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
