thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
