Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
