For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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