Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
